Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Creative Writing Assignment

I just finished an assignment (well, part of it...) which required me to compose a creative writing piece inspired by a survey I created for a previous assignment. The survey was about television influencing American values, and it inspired this poem/monologue.



This isn’t South Park. I’m living in The Real World and there’s not enough room in The Hills for everyone. I’m all about the High Society and I’m making my own True Hollywood Story. I’m Keeping Up with the Kardashians and I think I need a Nip/Tuck, somebody call Dr.90210. I’ve only got One Life to Live....there’s got to be 1,000 Ways to Die and the last place I want to be is Six Feet Under. Make Me a Supermodel! I want to be America’s Next Top Model! I want to be on top and I’ve got No Reservations when it comes to What Not to Wear. If I’m not picked to be one of The Models of the Runway, I’ll feel like The Biggest Loser. But I’ll make it, I know I will.... they’ll send me to The City and I’ll bring my Entourage, all my Fly Girls and we’ll show them we know How to Make it in America. And when I’m ready to settle down, I’m gonna be one of the Real Housewives of Orange County, I don’t belong in The Office, I’m no Ugly Betty. I’ll spend my summers at the Jersey Shore and if that falls through, I’ve heard It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Most people think I’m just a regular Girl Next Door but sometimes things can get Pretty Wild.... I hope I don’t wind up Sixteen and Pregnant. Can you just imagine the Gossip, Girl?

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Mall Endurance Test: FAIL

Today I decided to boldly go where this mom has not gone for several months..... the mall. I desperately need new jeans and also have recently had the nagging suspician that I am completely devoid of style. I decided that I owe it to myself to update the wardrobe a bit and got motivated to go try on some clothes and come home with some cute stuff.

Going to the mall with a three year old is no easy task. Well, sure, I can GO to the mall- but actually accomplishing any shopping is no easy task at all. In all fairness, I have to give my little girl due credit for being a trooper for the boring trip over to Macy's for a return and then the boring watching Mommy choose and try on jeans... and then the extraordinarily boring paying for said jeans and then (here is where things took a turn for the worst) hopping over to Baby Gap to return some stuff that was bought online....That return process was timely, since a couple of the items were missing their packing slips and were beyond the allowed return period. I try so hard to maintain my composure, to have limitless patience (because the alternative is to lose my patience, which I avoid doing in public!), and to find ways to keep Emma happy and entertained while we are doing things that she finds boring. Eila began to fuss while I stood at the Baby Gap counter, which added to my stress level. Emma kept running to hide from me in the little nooks and crannies of the store, and then decided to hold onto a display rack and spin around it in circles and circles and circles and circles.... until she made me completely dizzy just watching her. I felt tense. We had been to several stores and I had been actively exercising my patience. I am a quiet person who prefers to be anonymous while out and about, but she makes that completely impossible.

After the task of shopping was completed, we went to the mall playground. Eila was asleep in her stroller, so I needed to go and sit with her just outside of the playground at the parent seating area. I briefed Emma on the rules, which included not climbing up the slide- totally standard, a normal rule that she knows she is to follow. The first thing Emma did when she ran into the play area was start to climb up the slide. Several little ones crashed into her. I leaned over the wall and yelled to her several times, and when I finally got her attention I motioned for her to come to me. When she looked right at me and then ignored me and began to climb back up the slide, I reacted. I went into the play area, scooped her up, and we left. She had an absolute freak out. I was mortified, but also completely fed up. I can't take her defiance sometimes! I should not have to repeat myself 10 times in order for her to listen to me. It's unacceptable, and I had to react. I feel disappointed that she didn't get to have a fun time playing. I feel so frustrated, like where has my sweet little Emma gone? She is constantly defiant, argumentative, and just generally unpleasant to be around these days. I really hope this phase is a quick one. She has always been such a good girl, I hardly know how to react when she is deliberately naughty.

Friday, March 5, 2010

When I Grow Up....

What am I going to be when I grow up? It bewilders me that I am already nearly 30 years old. I can hardly accept it, like there must be some sort of an error. How did this happen? Where did my twenties go? Here I am 29 years old, mother of two, nearly a college graduate, and completely clueless as to how to progress in an intentional way to build my life so that my family lives comfortably and as happily as possible. I want to be able to provide for my girls, not just things but also opportunities. I want to travel and expose them to different parts of the world, different people and places and ways of being. I don't want to struggle or be unhappy as a result of financial strain. I want to have a job that I enjoy and feel gratified by, and I want that job to be as lucrative as possible!

So, what will it be? I find that all I really envision when I am thinking about ways to make money are entrepreneurial in nature. I want to write childrens books or make silly music for children. I want to open a baby boutique, a toy store, a restaurant. I guess that's it, those are the things a fantasize about. And, obviously, I want it to be extremely successful. So, how do I do it? Or DO I do it? Should I try to focus on something "safer", like becoming a manager of an existing baby boutique/toy store/restaurant?

There's also the question of WHERE do I do it (whatever IT is)? If I am going to accept Arizona as my home and feel happy about this being the place where I live my life and raise my girls I will have to make intentional changes. I have been toying with the idea of becoming a teacher so that the girls and I can spend summers in New Jersey. But, does that even make sense? Would we enjoy being away from "home" for such a long stretch? As far as climate, it makes complete sense. There is always a point in mid-summer Arizona that I find myself loathing this God-forsaken place and questioning why it is that I live in this oven. I can barely cope with Arizona summers, let alone enjoy them! If we stay here, I will want to relocate to an area of the Valley that feels more rich in a)character b)community and c)nature. Perhaps closer to the mountains, on the outskirts somewhere. Perhaps some funky area of Phoenix that I don't know about. But not here, in the middle of Mesa, with walls for a view out of every window in my house! I need less walls, more trees.

I guess I just need to keep thinking about it. Keep figuring it all out. I hope that with some planning and some time my life will begin to fall into place a bit better. I look forward to having a bit of a clear idea of what my future will entail and what I need to be doing to create a life for my children to grow up feeling happy and content in. I'm optimistic. And in the meantime, I am happy. Despite my confusion and looking for more of a path or a plan, my life is good!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

WFD 03.02.10

Whats For Dinner?

Tacos!
1/2 small onion, diced
1 bag Morningstar Farms ground crumbles
1/2 package taco seasoning
1 tomato, diced
1 bag shredded lettuce
1 avocado
garlic salt
pepper
grated colby jack cheese
sour cream
taco shells
salsa

-Saute onion until translucent. Add crumbles & cook a few minutes. Add taco seasoning & mix well (you may need to add a small amount of water to loosen up the seasoning).
-Meanwhile, mash avocado with generous amount of garlic salt & pepper to make a quick guacamole. Add a splash of lime juice if you have a lime, but it's not crucial.
-Heat taco shells according to package directions just before serving
-Put out dishes with all of the items- cheese, tomato, lettuce, avocado, sour cream, salsa, taco "meat, taco shells- and let everyone build their own tacos at the table.

I served this with fruit salad (blueberries, kiwis, apples, and grapes), and it was a yummy dinner!

Monday, March 1, 2010

I Can Make Ice Cream!

It's like a dream come true, really.  I can't imagine how many times I have said "I want an ice cream maker" over the years.... for some reason I didn't think I was capable of making something as delicious as Ben & Jerry could... but I am!  In our freezer at the moment we have Scharffen-Berger dark chocolate ice cream with green mint chips.  It's insane.  Before that was peanut butter ice cream with a chocolate swirl and mini peanut butter cups.  Yeah.  I'm constantly thinking about what flavors I'd like to try.... I have a million ideas.  I wish I had more friends nearby to share the love with!  Here is a picture of the first batch that Emma and I made: pink vanilla ice cream with mini-chocolate chips!

Eila's Arrival

I thought I'd add what I wrote on August 27th, 2009, 6 days after my second beautiful baby girl was born.  I can hardly believe she just turned six months old!

8.27.09 10:27pm

One week ago right now the contractions had not started yet. I had been scheduled for a 5am induction, so I barely slept all night because I was so anxious. At 3am a nurse from Banner Gateway called to tell me that they were extremely busy and I should wait until I get a call that a room has become available before I head in. She told me to have a good breakfast and that they would probably be calling around mid-morning. I got up at 7 to shower, have a good breakfast, and get myself totally ready. And then we waited.... and waited.... and waited. They never called. We went to the mall and walked around for quite a while.... they never called. On the way home I made Paul go to the hospital so I could maybe just maybe be there at the right time and get a room, but the lady laughed when I told her they hadn’t called yet but I thought I’d just stop by. She told me they might call that evening, otherwise I’d be first on the list for the morning. So, we went home and Mom and Margo came over with Emma and we made dinner and enjoyed each other’s company.... but I was anxious the whole time, waiting for my phone to ring.

Finally, at around 8:00, I called the hospital. The nurse told me that I was next on the list and they would be calling within the next couple of hours, but then she told me to hang on a minute & got back on the line saying, “Can you be here at 9:00?” Mom, Margo, and Emma went back to the hotel and I had a shower and got ready.

At 9:00 we were sitting at the registration desk getting checked in, and by 9:30 I was in a delivery room. Our nurse was Michelle. She checked me (I was just about 4cm dilated & 75% effaced & soft), asked me tons of questions about the pregnancy and my medical history and whatnot, then got me hooked up to a million wires and into the bed.  It was around 10:30 when she gave me the pitocin. She had told me that it would be about 15 minutes before I felt any contractions and an hour to an hour and a half before they would be painful. She was just about right! By 11:30 I was getting uncomfortable. Paul fell asleep and I just labored quietly, listening to the ‘tranquility’ station on the hospital TV. My lower back was intensely painful. The nurse, Michelle, said I was likely having ‘back-labor-, meaning that the hard part of baby’s head was pressing into my back and spine rather than her facing my back.

Around 2:30am I started to get the shakes like crazy, I felt like I looked like I was being electrocuted. Every muscle in my body twitched out of my control. Eventually, it stopped. I requested an epidural and got it around 3am. I got the shakes as it kicked in, too. The pain was gone, but I suddenly felt nauseated and light headed, and apparently my blood pressure dropped. Michelle kept having me lie on my side but then all the numbing stuff from the epidural would flow to that side (my left) and my left leg was getting TOO numb... had to keep adjusting, and she actually called for some sort of medicine to be brought in and hooked it up to my i.v.- I don’t even know what it was..... Once that all passed I was able to get a bit of rest but not any actual sleep.

By this point I was reeeally tired, having been up most of the night before and seeing as how I’m normally in bed by 10-11pm and it was 3 in the morning.... I didn’t blame Paul for sleeping (although he was awake for the whole shakes & epidural thing), we were tired! I rested until I started to get the shakes again, and I felt some wetness that made me think my water had broken. I called for the nurse and when she checked me she said that it was just “bloody show” but that she could feel my “bag of water” and it was low and tight. At that point I was 8cm and she said that if my water broke the baby would move down rapidly and I would be a)in a lot of pain and b)delivering the baby promptly. She called my doctor.

My contractions were definitely getting intense and felt like I would be pushing soon- tons of pressure and I felt like my water was just going to burst if I pushed even the slightest bit so I tried to resist that urge. When Dr. Mikel arrived he used one of those hook things to manually break my water, and within moments I was pushing. I pushed for 20-25 minutes and had a mirror at the foot of the bed so I could see the baby emerging and then being born, which was incredible.

The baby was born at 6:48am. She had inhaled some fluid as she was born so there were a scary couple of minutes right away when Michelle was rubbing her trying to stimulate her to cry and she wasn’t responding right I guess. Michelle called for help sounding really urgent and saying that she had a “floppy baby”. Some other nurses came in and one of them began suctioning what looked like blood (mine) out of her lungs using long narrow tubing. It was awful and scary, but at one point one of the nurses looked at me and said “she’s fine, Mom....”. She weighed 6lbs 12ozs and was 19 3/4 inches long..... and SO CUTE!!! I kept tearing up and felt a most incredible feeling of joy and relief and amazement. The hospital plays a little lullaby tune whenever a new baby and parents are being escorted from delivery to recovery, and when the song played as I was wheeled through the halls, I teared up again.

We spent the next 30 or so hours at the hospital. It was extremely hard to get any rest there and I was beginning to feel delirious. Our room was right next to the nurses’ station so we could hear them chit-chatting out there the time, and there were just so many people in and out of the room all the time that I could never doze off. Nurses checking the baby’s vitals, other nurses checking my vitals, cookie lady, flowers lady, hospital photos lady, birth certificate lady, discharge class lady, food lady, pediatrician, hearing test lady, Dr. Sodoma, and then there was our family, too.

We did not name the baby until right before we were going to be discharged. It had been months and months of obsessive indecision, and it wasn’t easy to just decide already.... I absolutely love her name, though, and feel like it suits her really well: Eila June.

She will be 1 week old in the morning. We have been to the pediatrician twice this week and to a lab to get her blood tested three times, because she was jaundiced on Monday.


8.028.09 2:35pm

I just spoke with a nurse at the pediatrician’s office- Eila’s billiruben levels have gone down. No more tests are necessary- yay!

WFD 2.24.10

What's For Dinner?!

I picked up a package of fresh peirogis from Sprouts the other day and have been pondering how I ought to prepare them. Next time I'm thinking I'll do peirogi enchiladas..... but this was our Wednesday night dinner, and I rather enjoyed it! I served this with a simple green salad.

Peirogis & Sausage

1 package peirogis (I used potato & cheddar)
1 package Trader Joe's Italian Sausage with Sun Dried Tomatoes
1 onion, thinly sliced
1 orange bell pepper (or whatever color you prefer), thinly sliced
1/2 jar prepared bruschetta topping (or a dollop of tomato sauce or some drained canned diced tomatoes or diced fresh- whatever!)
splash of balsamic vinaigrette
olive oil
salt & pepper

-Saute onion & pepper in a little oil until soft. Add a drizzle of vinaigrette and a dollop of bruschetta topping or tomato product of your choice, stir into peppers and onions.
-Push that mixture to the side of the pan and place sausages in pan. Cook sausages, turning occasionally to let all sides brown.
-On a separate non-stick and lightly oiled pan/skillet, place all of the peirogis so they are laying flat. Cook until crispy golden brown, and then flip to let the front cook.
-Serve peirogis atop a bed of peppers and onions, with sausages on the side.

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